Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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