me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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