the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
