Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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