once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dignity is for republicans.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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