I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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