so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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