Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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