We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize