what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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