he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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