My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
