I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
