Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
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