it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
