Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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