Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
