whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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