atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think I sprained my soul last night
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
