It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
