Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
