my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
