I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
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Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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