How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
