Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
