YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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