So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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