can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize