I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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