i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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