Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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