She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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