If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
