My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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