Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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