So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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