Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
