The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
