It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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