I will die if light touches me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
