Kareoke will never be a sober sport
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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