How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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