Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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