Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
