Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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