Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
