question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
