been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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