So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
