I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
