I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You are a genius and a whore.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
