i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
