Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This baby is an asshole
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
