In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
