Do you still have your period?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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