I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
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Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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