I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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