i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Semen is not good for contacts.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
