yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
