I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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