Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
