we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
