...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
