How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So squirting runs in the family.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
