idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
