We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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