my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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