Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
