I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
then he tried to convert me to islam
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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