I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
...so i touched it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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