she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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