I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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